Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
