and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
