conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
