OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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