the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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