I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize