think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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