Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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