The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
