Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
