Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
