i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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