i'm signing you up for texting rehab
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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