doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
