I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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