i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
