my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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