it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
