Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
