I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
