No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
