apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
