I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
