whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
