to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
