is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
