And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
