can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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