You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
