me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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