my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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