just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
