I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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