She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
