i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize