Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you didnt know i had herpes?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
