We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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