Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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