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• (310): View more from California

  so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring

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• (619): View more from California

  We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.

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• (530): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.

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• (845): View more from New York

  We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.

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