ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Barsexuality is the new black.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
