I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
