why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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