You just made me feel so damn special
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
