I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
