And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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