My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
