Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
