I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize