I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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