he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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