I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
