Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
