Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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