He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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