Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
