everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
