I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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