# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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